December 2010
It’s only 9 o’clock and I’m mentally exhausted.
I do not know how I will do this forever. It takes some much out of me not to care.
I care about you… and I mean nothing to you.
Yet somehow you surprise every time you say those words… iloveyou, or just thanks.
BAH. Back to the basics. Oh God, I need your help for something so basic.
TEXT! And look who it...
Day 1... crap its long
This is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be last night.
You are still around. You are still doing what you do.
I’m still here. I’m still letting you do what you do.
But I will not have feelings about it. I will be here for you when you crash, or until He lets me know I can leave.
But it’s still there… not in the mushy way, but, iloveyou, the you that you are...
This.Is.How.I.Feel.
I’ve tried 1, 2, 3 too many times I’ve heard 1, 2, 3 too many lies So I gotta pretend that I’m not gonna miss you I gotta pretend that this is what I wanna do I gotta pretend when I walk out that door That I don’t love you anymore I gotta play the part act like it aint killin’ me…
To have somewhere to just say what I’ve wanted to say. But first, I should go back to finishing school. 2 more exams.
